Hyperbolic Bipolar Delusional Paranoia.

I was sitting in a field, a very vast field, there was nothing growing except grass. It was all dark as if back clouds had descended to meet the birds. I was sat on the side of a broken path, hedges to both sides. The path was as wide as any city road. The hedges were black, menacing, calling you to leave. Anyways, I thought the best thing at this time would be to whip out my phone and take a few pictures. So there I am sat on the right side of this crooked pathway looking through the screen of my phone trying to figure out what angle to capture when I happen to touch the top left corner of the screen of the phone with my thumb. Behold! the thing caught fire. Not the phone, that would have been common, the hedge that I was looking at through the screen and which was physically behind me. I saw the hedge burning for a few seconds and I realised that the actual hedge was burning. I turned around and tried to blow away the flames. I got to them in a couple of tries. Intrigued as I was at this strange happening I touched the screen of the phone deliberately to see what happens. Would you believe it! The bush caught fire again. I tried getting this one to go out but it was resilient. It would almost go out and then come back again. It was at this point I realised that the hedges were not in fact made of shrubbery but of thick barbed steel wire. I called their bluff. I was having none of this poignant malarkey! On my incessant demands a puppy with glowing red Terminator eyes materialised from the wire hedge and coincidentally a rabbit from the other side of the hedge. I must admit it was frightening when they were both flying straight at me but I kept my cool. They were at each others neck. I had to hold them just so they wouldn't tear each others limbs apart and yet they were doing so. I got distracted, perhaps mother was calling me..

Hey there :)

Hello xxxxx!

I'm finally on my laptop! my birthday wasn't as epic as I had anticipated. I assumed
that my friends would bring me cake, throw me a big party, invite a troupe of
elephants and half a dozen monkeys and we'd all have a great time which we'll tell
our grandkids about.
I ended up taking them for ice cream and cake. One of them caught flu, he says it
was because the ice cream was too cold.

Everything is white, I so wanted to ditch work tonight and go sledging. Two
problems though, work people wouldn't let me take a day off because someone else
had packed it in before me and I haven't seen an adult size sledge around lately. the
latter thwarted my plans really. so I decided to fall down the steps in front of my
house just to experience the sensation really. the steps remained unharmed. dunno
about my bum, it's still unconscious.

you take care and I'll hopefully catch you later :)

Just like a star.

Christmas is almost here but I still can't smell cinnamon! things are good and things are bad. Then there is this. I have been in a dream like state all day today listening to Corinne Bailey Rae - Like A Star and although the snow has cleared up I still feel like wafts of condensed breath escape my mouth as I breathe and everything is merry. Reality is strange, delusional even.

"last night i had a dream that i was running through a hotel of circular floor plan. and everyone know i was running away. and then i wound round and round through doors, auditoriums, cafes and restaurants, through rooms and cupboards. the hotel was golden and red, quite vintage, till i reached a circular staircase going two stories down, made of oak. i ran and jumped down, walked out woke up. and sat there in a cafe with a two females and a man and told them how when you write your dream down it is easy to remember it. then i realised i was still dreaming but. it did feel strange to be conscious of a dream while in it. the coffee was good though.
"

I emailed this to a friend a few days back, true story. I guess I miss somethings from my past but that's what you get for running away without a plan. Do it if you get a chance though :)

I must crack on, I must push and I must realise the importance of every individual. I need to watch the documentary on Jesse Jackson on BBC, it was on this morning and I think Fern Britton was doing it. It made sense in many places. We all are standing lean against the gushing storm, some of us are just too afraid to open our eyes and fight...

are you there?

and the Hallowed crescent lingers on the horizon. I don't want the world to read what I write. Not because I'm afraid but because I don't think that they'll understand.

Congratulations on getting here!!

I know you deserve some accolade for making it here. Go on... give me a hug :) I know I need it.

Today is the day.

10/10/10 = 101010 = 42 = the answer to life, the universe and everything.

101010 in base 2 is 42 in base 10 and 42 is the answer. Hence today is the answer :) Douglas Adams would have been proud. So I shall be looking for the answer today!

optimism

if the sun shines it does not mean it is a nice day. somewhere something is burning

i'm fed up of all this purple talk of optimism. my sarcasm is too soft. if there is a baby being born somewhere all the time then so is someone dying. and also someone is being mutilated, killed or being stripped of their rights of being human. what does this tell us about the human condition and infact ourselves our righteously sought optimism? skepticism, that is the only way. and of course sarcasm.

It does not get any better than this. At least not in this universe. I have 7 white hairs sticking out of my goatee. I will die soon. We all will but me sooner relative to now. I should get a patent on my goatee now, its been pretty much the same since.. well since algorithm at least.

a new day dawns.. well not technically. its just close to midnight so the dates change but its pretty much the same day in whatever state of mind you are. why don't I surrender? wish i knew that. plod on till then

yeahhhh... well..

Well hello there!
This was a bit painful, getting started on the mobile. There was an option to do it from mobiles but he says it will make me a new mobile blog. Which sounded cumbersome and uncomfortable so I decided otherwise.
But do you know what, I've decided I'm gonna go for it! after I'm done here, of course.
Kylie minogue was on telly tonite, sounded fun.
To the point now. I imagine myself doing a lot of stuff and that is probably my problem, too much imagination. Lenon would be proud :)

So just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, you were at the bottom of the barrel.. you found your self a hole and dropped further down. You twat!
This is not a dress rehearsal mate, this is the real thing, this is life. and its quietly passing you by. While you sit there on your dreary arse pretending to be a figment of your imagination. It's all grandiose when you play it out in your head, but when push comes to shove you sit there like a twat with your Dick in your hands.
I wish I could tell you that its time to take the game up a notch that its time to really get in there and take on the world. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The best and plausible course of action is to stay steady. Simple. Put your head down, make the things you have work for you. Live, with your eyes open. Embrace who you are. Stay steady and make your own breaks. Plan for them. Make it happen, time and effort not blood and sweat. Save them for later, when you can do something with them. Do good, one small thing at a time. Make your river by adding a drop at a time and when you have enough momentum, then go for it, burst the dams and reclaim what you want. But that time is not now. Now is the time when you draw the lines, when you stick to it and keep going.

DISCIPLINE, a word thrown around by institutionalists, is one of the shaping forces of life. It can come in any capacity and in a myriad of containers but you need to have a steady stream of it. There is no other way my friend. I wish I could pat you on the back, get you out and make everything better but that's not how it works. YOU have to stick in there. Keep going. Steady.
If you're going through hell, keep going. You are stood still waiting for a knight in chink. Dude, that's not your story. Steps taken forwards but sleep walking back again.

Keep the dream alive. Don't let the wonder go. Dream big.

{High hopes - pink floyd}